Xghajra, Malta

There's no local economy to speak of. Xghajra is a residential afterthought wedged between the sea and the airport's flight path. Remote workers can manage with 95 Mbps internet, but you'll be commuting to Valletta or Sliema if you need a local paycheck. Your monthly costs, excluding rent, will run you $850. A one-bedroom apartment in the center is another $900. That's $1,750 a month for the privilege of living in a town where nobody else is hustling.

Housing stock is older, with thin walls and the relentless humidity that comes with sitting two meters above sea level. You'll hear your neighbors' arguments whether you want to or not. Public buses exist but rarely show up on schedule, so a car is nearly mandatory if you want to leave town regularly. Healthcare is free through the public system once you're a resident, though specialist waits can stretch for months. English is an official language here, which eliminates one headache, but the bureaucracy is still pure Maltese slow motion. On the upside, crime barely registers at 17 on the index, and you'll feel safe walking anywhere at 2 a.m.

This town rewards retirees with a score of 78 for a reason. The pace is glacial, the sea is steps away, and the cost of existing doesn't punish a pension. Digital nomads rated it a tepid 61, and I'd say that's generous. There's no coworking space, no expat meetups, and the 3,712 residents are largely families who've known each other for generations. You'll feel like a guest who overstayed after about six weeks. If you want silence, convenience to the airport, and zero pressure to do anything, come. If you want a life that feels bigger than a tiny village, stay far away.